DRINK | a thank you + rhubarb gin sour

Yesterday, eathalifax was awarded Gold in The Coast’s Best of Halifax Food Awards. There are no words to describe how I’m feeling.

These past few months have been hard. I know I’ve eluded to it in past posts but to be honest they’ve been some of the hardest times in my life. I’m finally ready to take back my life and that means drawing the strength to be honest. While many will be shocked by this, family and friends alike, it’s time to stop hiding.

Somewhere along the way, life changed. It got complicated, dark even. That’s not to say I didn’t still love food. Food is  – and will always be – my life. Want to know where you should go for dinner? I’d be happy to oblige. Looking for what to make with that celeriac you just got at the market? Sign me up. Despite all that, self doubt started creeping in. I no longer felt like my blog was good enough, even adequate for that matter. I felt, and sometimes still feel, like I’m a sub par cook and should probably put down the knife for good. There were even times I thought about packing it in and shutting down the site. Would anyone care? Would they even notice? I certainly didn’t think so. Stress started to take over. My happy place got darker and darker. Feeling just as stressed when I didn’t post, there seemed to be no winning. I tried to have perspective, to remember why I’m doing this in the first place. Was it for fame and money? Lord no though who wouldn’t like a little of that? It was supposed to be a place of passion, a place to share my love of food and cooking. How could that be stressful? Did it still make me happy? I wanted to believe. So, post by post I started reclaiming this space as my own. No stress. No judgement. No more tears.  

I have thought many times about confessing my thoughts despite how embarrassed and scared I may feel. Maybe I’ll lose readers, maybe I’ll gain some. What will my friends and family think? Regardless of what happens now, it was a step I needed to take.

So, you can only imagine what this win means. If I could hug each and everyone of you out there who voted, I would. I am beyond grateful. Today I raise a glass to you. You who make it all worth it. You who have given me the strength to carry on. You who remind me that everything is indeed going to be ok.